Changing The World – One Couple At A Time
- Gender Justice
- by Avinash Singh
- 29 Nov, 2016
It was August. Bundelkhand, after many years had witnessed good rains. The fields had turned into a light shade of green. The green, instead of the brown parched earth, brimming with energy, life and optimism was a fitting prelude to our meeting.
We were in Chitrakoot, a district in Uttar Pradesh, and were headed to Kaimaha village to meet a few women leaders who were working to end domestic violence within their community; some of these women were survivors of domestic violence themselves.
Vanangana, one of Oxfam India’s partners working towards ending violence against women and girls, have formed Dalit Mahila Samitis or women collectives across several villages in the district. These collectives, work as vigilance committees and provide support to the other women in the community who are victims of domestic violence. Nearly 3500 women are members of these Samitis.
On reaching the village, we were received warmly by the women. It was a mixed group of the old and the young, the shy and the confident but they all seemed to be equally fired with the commitment to the cause and passion to bring a difference. One lady, in her sixties, however, stood out with her confidence and her understanding for the cause. Ramkali.
Ramkali, a member of the Dalit Mahila Samiti, over the years groomed herself to be the confident woman leader whose respect and influence goes beyond the confines of her village. Once at a wedding of an upper caste family in the village she refused to eat food because others of her community weren’t being treated with respect. The villagers, followed her, boycotted the wedding and returned home. Such was her influence. And it continues to be so. She is the guiding light for others in the village to stop caste atrocities and violence against women and girls.
In our heads, we were just beginning to pat our backs for being able to create a ‘Ramkali’. Our meeting was over and we prepared to leave. Ramkali insisted we have tea at her place before we left. Sensing our hesitation, a few women said the tulsi tea would be totally worth our while. So after our goodbyes to the rest of them, we left with her.
As we were making ourselves comfortable at her place, we could hear her giving instructions to someone inside to get some tulsi leaves. In the meanwhile as we resumed our talk, a 70-year old bespectacled man entered the room with a big bunch of tulsi leaves and a bigger smile. As he settled down, weeding out the bad leaves, he joined in our conversation. This was Ramkaran, her spouse, spoke on a range of issues — from the looming agriculture crisis to the impact it had on women, from women empowerment and the strength it lent to the society at large. His insights were refreshing, to say the least.
He excused himself and went in to prepare tea for us. They were the epitome of what good partners could do for each other. When they got married, Ramkali was not literate. Ramkaran ensured that she was trained to read and write. Instead of confining her to the house, he encouraged her to become member of different women groups. The once-shy Ramkali now holds meetings across villages. Ramkaran clearly has played a big role in Ramkali’s coming into her own over the years.
While he had been her strength over the years, she had reciprocated by supporting him in his work. Ramkaran is a kotedaar (license-holder to run a Public Distribution Shop) and like Ramkali, is well respected in the village. The couple run the shop together in a very transparent manner, ensure that everyone gets their fair share, and that there are no discrepancies in the distribution of the ration.
The lilting aroma of the tulsi chai announced his re-entry into our midst. Giving us our cups, he said “Agar khud kee iccha aur parivaar ka saath na ho to koi bhi aage nahi badh sakta”. Loosely translated it meant that without one’s own desire and the support of the family, no one could make any progress. His next line came as an eye opener. “Whatever you do to empower a woman, it will fizzle out if she doesn’t get the support from her family and her partner.”
Just as we were beginning to pat our backs, in our head, Ramkaran brought us back to reality that while empowering women was important, it was equally significant to engage with the men. Men, have a very critical role in ending violence against women and girls. Therefore to create an equal and a just society; men and boys should become agents of change.
Ramkalis’ and Ramkarans’ are clearly the need of the hour. The tea was excellent as was the conversation. We bid our goodbyes.
On our way back to Lucknow, we once again passed the green fields. The shoots, with the right amount of water and sunlight, will one day provide the much needed food and relief to all. Just like Ramkali, who with the support from Ramkaran, had groomed herself and was striving to make her village, patriarchy and violence-free.
Written by: Avinash Singh, Coordinator- Programme Management, Oxfam India
Gender Justice
We campaign to change patriarchal mindsets that influence violence against women
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Update: Oxfam to Provide Shelter to 300 Households Hit by The Manipur Earthquake
Apr 5, 2019 | oxfamadmin
In El Salvador, a struggle to survive El Niño
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Bihar designs a 15-year roadmap to reduce risk of disaster
Feb 20, 2020 | ursila
Violence as an Effective Mode of “Indian” Communication
Apr 5, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Because it’s 2015!
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Let’s welcome a new dawn, minus domestic violence
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Data and Discrimination: Women’s Ownership of Assets in India
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
“No Woman, No Cry!”
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Pushing, pulling and the power of people: new horizons for corporate responsibility?
Jan 9, 2020 | oxfamadmin
Yes bank - say to inclusive and social banking and inclusive business model
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Creating shared value through inclusive business
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
TATA consultancy services – empowering farmers with mobile technology
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
What the CSR numbers don’t tell
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
6 important things companies need to do to be inclusive
Nov 21, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Why businesses need to invest in creating a productive population for a sustainable future
Sep 10, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Jaipur rugs – weaving the lives of the poor into the global markets. an inclusive business model.
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
The next 15 years: highlighting the role of the private sector in development
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Emphasizing a human rights-based approach to inclusiveness in business
Oct 30, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Privatising Forests: A Bad Idea
Oct 30, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Adoption of Agenda 2030: 17 SDGs for 15 years
Nov 15, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Five questions about the #GlobalGoals you were too embarrassed to ask
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Last mile smile
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Social responsibility of companies should not stop at 2%
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
In ‘campaign mode’, states flout FRA rules
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
“I will not leave my forest. I will keep my jungle”
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Healthcare for all in India: When, How, and Why RSBY?
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Where is the nutrition? Ask pregnant women in a village of Bihar
Jan 9, 2020 | oxfamadmin
Learning to read at schools, but where are the textbooks?
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Progressive tax norms must underlie financing of the Sustainable Development Goals
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Teachers needed! Government schools are falling behind due to lack of funds
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Protect and expand India’s public healthcare system: The inequality imperative
Dec 16, 2019 | oxfamadmin
“On My Second Day At School, A Kid Asked Me What Caste I Was”
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
India’s missing girls: A tale of healthcare neglect faced by girls
Sep 9, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Should we only give attention to women’s health on International day of action?
Nov 18, 2019 | oxfamadmin
No respite for 72-year-old Sitaram, a month after #NepalEarthquake
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
One month on, education of children still jolted by Nepal earthquake
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
New worry for Nepal; landslides, floods may block relief work
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Monsoon preview in Kathmandu blows away shelters in relief camp
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Last mile distribution of relief supplies is biggest challenge in Nepal: Indian ambassador
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
When Delhi’s Streets Buzzed with ‘Haq Banta Hai’
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Lack of water, toilets making things worse for women in Nepal
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Oxfam India gets government approval to respond to #NepalEarthquake in 28 hours
Apr 5, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Desperation creeping in, people in Nepal wait for aid
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
#OxfaminNepal: “More than 60,000 litres of water has been provided till now”
Oct 7, 2019 | Avantika
Political (and some other) priorities in Nepal as of 28 April 2015
Oct 30, 2019 | oxfamadmin
#Nepal Earthquake: “The death toll has crossed 2000 and this is just the beginning”
Jan 9, 2020 | oxfamadmin
#NepalEarthquake: It is going to be a long road to recovery
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Money Matters!
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
All for Education, Education for All
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
When schools continue to exclude, can education reduce caste discrimination in India?
Feb 20, 2020 | oxfamadmin
Ensuring the right to education, forming bonds for life
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
How can India send a spaceship to Mars but not educate its children?
Sep 30, 2019 | oxfamadmin
India wins in cricket, but losing out on education
Sep 30, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Oxfam's 'Even it up' report a must read lesson on Inequality
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
It’s time to understand ‘womanhood is beyond maternity’
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
The True Measure of Land's Value
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
The “Ten-thousand Committee”: Reviving VHSNCs in Jharkhand
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Singing their way out of child marriage
Sep 10, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Land Acquisition bill tests government’s pro-poor stance
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Breaking the silence, standing tall
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Making a Song and Dance about Child Marriage
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Let’s Talk About Sex
Sep 10, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Mobile technology solutions could be a game changer for maternal health: Scribes
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Missing Girls: The Puzzling Domestic Violence Agenda
Oct 3, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Her Ghar: A right to residence for every woman
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Considering Gender: A Mediaperson’s Guide to Covering Disasters
Dec 16, 2019 | oxfamadmin
True Grit
Apr 5, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Violence against women and star power: Does their magic wand work?
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Having Those Difficult Conversations
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Day of the Man: guarding the china shop
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Gender parity needs to begin at home with mother’s guardianship rights!
Sep 9, 2019 | oxfamadmin
It’s a Girl!
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Let’s Help End Domestic Violence!
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
A Few Good Men
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Promises to keep—Implementation of PWDV Act in Odisha
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Make 16 Days of Activism an Everyday Practice
Oct 30, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Witch-Hunting: A less talked about form of Violence Against Women
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Markets Also Discriminate
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Let’s Talk About Domestic Violence!
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Getting Serious about Ending Violence against Women and Girls
Oct 3, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Right to a Violence Free Life
Sep 10, 2019 | oxfamadmin
It’s all about the money
Sep 10, 2019 | oxfamadmin
‘It’s No Longer Funny': The Funding Wars That’ll Dictate Our Future
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Girl, Interrupted
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
16 Pictures From Imagining Inequality That WiIl Tell You The Truth #evenitup
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
These 8 Goals Were Set To Develop The World, But 14 Years Since, This Is Where We Stand
Dec 5, 2019 |
A Look At The Year 2029: What Kind Of Legacy Will We Leave Behind For Our Future Generations?
Nov 18, 2019 |
These 8 Goals Were Set To Develop The World, But 14 Years Since, This Is Where We Stand
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
BRICS bank a necessary step, but needs more transparency
Sep 9, 2019 |
Short term memory and Long term needs!
Oct 7, 2019 |
A people’s budget has to go beyond...
Oct 24, 2019 |
National Shame, National Failure
Sep 27, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Oxfam India pledges its support to #BringBackOurGirls
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Closing the Gap on Gender: Is India up for the challenge?
Nov 15, 2019 | oxfamadmin
She tills, she sows, but she does not own
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Take a pause: what do the Uttrakhand floods tell us about India’s development model?
Sep 10, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Saving lives on sharp turning roads
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
They do mind the gap
Oct 7, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Right to Education, still a long way to go.
Oct 1, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Can We Close the Gap on Women's Inequality in India?
Oct 30, 2019 | oxfamadmin
Breaking Old Barriers and Building New Alliances for Food Justice in India and Globally
Oct 24, 2019 | oxfamadmin
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Shraddha Sivaramakrishnan is a second-year student at Flame university (Pune) and worked as an intern in Oxfam India’s Gender Justice department for around a month. The internship ...